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Politics

Bill O’Reilly Tearfully Packs Up Framed Up-Skirt Photos From Desk

NEW YORK—Smiling wistfully as he gazed at the cherished mementos that had sat on his desk for much of the past 20 years, former Fox News commentator Bill O’Reilly reportedly grew teary-eyed Thursday as he packed up the framed up-skirt photos from his work space following his termination by the cable channel.

Donald Trump Jr. Takes Son On Hunting Trip In National Zoo

WASHINGTON—In what he referred to as an important rite of passage for his 8-year-old son, Donald John III, Donald Trump Jr. took his eldest boy to the Smithsonian National Zoological Park for his first-ever hunting trip, sources said Wednesday.

Islam: Myth Vs. Fact

In the wake of President Trump’s proposed immigration ban targeting largely Muslim countries, The Onion separates myth from fact regarding the religion of Islam.
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Longtime Reader Of Lib-Slaves.info Sick Of Mainstream Bias On Sites Like WideAwakePatriot.com

ST. PAUL, MN—Wondering how anyone could read the articles in such publications and not recognize them as “total establishment propaganda,” local man Mark Furlong, a longtime reader of Lib-Slaves.info, told reporters Monday he was sick and tired of the obvious mainstream biases on news sites like WideAwakePatriot.com. “You wouldn’t believe the nonsense WideAwakePatriot and ArmedLibertyNews are pushing about how the world elites meet in Davos, Switzerland to rig the global economy, when if you actually paid attention to the facts the mainstream media doesn’t want you to know about, you’d realize that the actual power players of the Jew World Order meet every day in Los Angeles to design their doomsday compounds and determine new methods to control us,” said the 36-year-old, who praised Lib-Slaves.info for offering honest reporting of current events, explaining that he was thankful he wasn’t one of the “sheep” who blindly believe the misinformation that WideAwakePatriot.com was intentionally spreading to push its ruling-class agenda. “It’s so frustrating to see so-called journalists claiming that John Podesta’s hacked emails show his involvement in child prostitution, when in reality, they’re a clear indication of his membership in a D.C.–wide cannibalism ring. But you’re never going to get the full picture from the biased reporters at WideAwakePatriot.com. You can’t believe a site like that.” At press time, Furlong was bemoaning the gross incompleteness of a list of people the Clintons had murdered on a message board at UncuckedSentinel.net.

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