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Mom In Nightgown Mode

APPLETON, WI—Noting that the changeover occurred “right on schedule” after she had finished the dishes and watched TV for an hour or two, family sources confirmed Monday night that local mom Linda Rampling had officially transitioned into nightgown mode.

Car Rolls Up To Stoplight Blasting Google Maps Directions

HOUSTON—Attracting the attention of adjacent motorists and nearby pedestrians who turned their heads to see where the booming noise was coming from, a 2006 Ford Focus is said to have rolled up to a local stoplight Friday blaring Google Maps directions.

34-Year-Old Asks For Big Piece

MADISON, WI—Directing the server to the large square in the corner, local 34-year-old Matthew Hinke asked for a big piece of cake during a workplace birthday party, sources confirmed Tuesday.
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Lookalike Couple Vaguely Disquieting

GRAND RAPIDS, MI—Friends and family of Russell Tonelli are expressing a "creepy sort of unease" at the distinct visual similarities between the 33-year-old Grand Rapids file clerk and his new girlfriend, Elizabeth Brecht, sources reported Tuesday. "It's really weird how similar they look," said co-worker Isaac Richards. "Elizabeth even cut off her long hair last week, making it even worse. That's just plain disturbing."

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