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‘The Princess Bride’ By The Numbers

‘The Princess Bride’ was released 30 years ago today, and it has since become a classic beloved by people of all ages. ‘The Onion’ looks back at ‘The Princess Bride’ 30 years later.
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Loser Can't Even Get Wife Pregnant

MARSHFIELD, WI—After three years of trying, pathetic loser Ron Dreschel can't even get his wife Marisa pregnant, sources at the Marshfield Clinic reported Tuesday. "Ha, poor Ronny Dreschel can't even knock up his own old lady!" fertility counselor Derek Vojtik said. "What's the matter? Problems with sperm motility?" Dreschel was unavailable for comment.

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