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What Is Trump’s Relationship With White Nationalism?

Since the weekend’s violent protests in Charlottesville, VA, many have criticized President Trump for his failure to outright condemn the white supremacists involved. The Onion breaks down Trump’s relationship to this powerful hate group.

Ruth Bader Ginsburg Returns To Off-Season Lifeguarding Job

ALEXANDRIA, VA—Saying she hadn’t missed a summer since she was on the U.S. Court of Appeals, Supreme Court Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg said Tuesday that she had once again returned to her off-season lifeguarding job at Splash Central waterpark.

President’s American Manufacturing Council Down To CEO Of Shoe Carnival

WASHINGTON—Following a series of resignations from prominent CEOs amid the fallout from President Trump’s handling of white-nationalist violence in Charlottesville, VA, White House sources confirmed Tuesday that Trump’s American Manufacturing Council is now down to a single member, Clifton Sifford, CEO and president of Shoe Carnival.

What To Expect From James Comey’s Book

Former FBI director James Comey is writing a book due out next spring about leadership, decision-making, and his time at the FBI. Here’s what to look for when the book is released.
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Loser Congressman Carries Around Pocket-Sized Version Of Constitution Everywhere

WASHINGTON— Congressional sources confirmed Thursday that “huge nerd” and loser Rep. Daniel Lipinski (D-IL) continues to insist on carrying around a pocket-sized version of the U.S. Constitution at all times. “When he says things like, ‘It’s always good to have one of these handy,’ I kind of just want to punch the little pip-squeak in the mouth,” Sen. John Boozman (R-AR) said of Lipinski, adding that the dorky, four-term congressman can often be seen eating lunch and reading his tiny little book all by himself. “He’s also highlighted parts of it and dog-eared the page where the First Amendment is. There’s no way this dweeb has ever gotten laid, right?” When asked for comment, Lipinski pulled out his mini Constitution and, before he could finish saying “This is what we were elected to uphold,” was loudly told to just give it a rest already.

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President’s American Manufacturing Council Down To CEO Of Shoe Carnival

WASHINGTON—Following a series of resignations from prominent CEOs amid the fallout from President Trump’s handling of white-nationalist violence in Charlottesville, VA, White House sources confirmed Tuesday that Trump’s American Manufacturing Council is now down to a single member, Clifton Sifford, CEO and president of Shoe Carnival.

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