adBlockCheck

Sports

Players To Watch In The Sweet 16

The 2017 NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament has provided thrilling upsets and amazing comebacks in the first two rounds. Onion Sports presents a guide to the 10 players to watch in the Sweet 16.

Benny The Bull Busted For Possession Of Unlicensed T-Shirt Gun

CHICAGO—Noting that the suspect had been taken into custody after officers managed to tackle and wrestle the individual to the ground of the United Center concourse, police confirmed Monday that Chicago Bulls mascot Benny the Bull was arrested for possession of an unlicensed T-shirt gun.

Most Valuable Sports Memorabilia

Sports collectibles have skyrocketed in popularity over the past several decades, with sales of such items as game-worn jerseys and autographed rookie cards generating billions of dollars each year. Onion Sports examines the most sought-after and highly valued sports memorabilia in the world.
End Of Section
  • More News

Losing Super Bowl Team Gets Locker-Room Condolence Call From John Kerry

JACKSONVILLE, FL—Battered and demoralized after their 24-21 defeat at the hands of the New England Patriots in Super Bowl XXXIX Sunday, the Philadelphia Eagles had their mood reinforced by a locker-room call from defeated presidential challenger John Kerry. "What'd we talk about? Oh, you know, losing the biggest game of all against a national audience, most of whom didn't really care anyway," said Eagles quarterback Donovan McNabb, who like Kerry had a less-than-stellar showing. "And how hard it is to watch those smug, self-satisfied, so-called Patriots strut around like peacocks afterwards. I could relate." Kerry also gave the Eagles advice on keeping their team's game plan from becoming muddled and inconsistent, and showing decisive leadership in the wake of a big loss.
More Videos

WATCH VIDEO FROM THE ONION

More from this section

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

Close