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What You Need To Know About Last Night’s Oscars Debacle

Many viewers were left wondering about the sequence of events that led to the initial erroneous declaration of ‘La La Land’ as the Best Picture winner at the Academy Awards Sunday instead of the real winner, ‘Moonlight’. The Onion breaks down what you need to know about this fiasco.

Brad Pitt Sidelined 6 To 8 Weeks With Red Carpet Toe

LOS ANGELES—Saying doctors strongly recommended that he stay off the injured foot, representatives for Brad Pitt confirmed to reporters Sunday that the actor was sidelined six to eight weeks with a case of red carpet toe.

The Onion’s 2017 Oscar Picks

The 89th Academy Awards features a more diverse slate of film and actor nominees than in past years, though the ceremony could still field #OscarsSoWhite criticism. Here are The Onion’s picks for who should take home the coveted Oscar statuettes:
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Lost Jack London Manuscript, ‘The Doggy,’ Found

RYE, NY—Workers inventorying the estate of a recently deceased Westchester County art dealer earlier this month reportedly stumbled upon a draft of a previously unknown Jack London novel titled The Doggy, and the work is already being hailed by many within the literary world as a masterpiece. “The Doggy is a gripping tale of a playful 3-year-old yellow Labrador retriever in the Yukon and shows London, the master of vivid naturalist prose, at the height of his literary powers,” said Columbia University professor Andrew Spellman of the longhand manuscript that is believed to have been penned in 1908 and chronicles the everyday life of a dog named Cody as he gnaws on fur-lined boots, scampers after tennis balls, and gives big, wet, sloppy kisses. “Indeed, one cannot read The Doggy without feeling the author’s intensity for the subject, from the untamed ferocity of Cody’s howls when he hears the doorbell ring, to the raw yearning seen in the doggy’s eyes when he wants his big old tummy rubbed.” According to Spellman, this is the most significant discovery in American literature since a copy of Robert Frost’s unpublished poem “Brrrrrr, It’s Cold” turned up in 2003.

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What You Need To Know About Last Night’s Oscars Debacle

Many viewers were left wondering about the sequence of events that led to the initial erroneous declaration of ‘La La Land’ as the Best Picture winner at the Academy Awards Sunday instead of the real winner, ‘Moonlight’. The Onion breaks down what you need to know about this fiasco.

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