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Refs Let 49ers Put As Many Men On Field As They Want

SEATTLE—Sighing into the microphone as he stood at the 50-yard line of Centurylink Field, NFL referee Gene Steratore ruled during Sunday’s game that the San Francisco 49ers could put as many men on the field as they want.

Stunned Adam Schefter Receives Ominous Tip From Future Self

BRISTOL, CT—Slowly returning to his desk shaken and confused, sources reported Wednesday that ESPN NFL Insider Adam Schefter was stunned to receive an ominous tip from his future self while walking through one of his office building’s hallways.

‘FanSided’ Ranks All 128 NFL Teams

NEW YORK—As part of its comprehensive professional football coverage in anticipation of the upcoming season, sports news site ‘FanSided’ published an article Tuesday ranking all 128 NFL teams.
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Lou Piniella Immediately Wins World Series After Removing Cubs Uniform For Last Time

CHICAGO—Having finished saying goodbye to Cubs players and fans during his final game with the team, manager Lou Piniella won his second World Series Sunday night mere seconds after taking off his uniform. "This is a great way to end my career, no question," a champagne-soaked Piniella told reporters, moments after winning the National League Central while removing his blue-pinstriped Cubs pants and the NLCS after tossing his Cubs hat to the team's equipment manager. "Man, it feels good to finally be on top again." The Chicago Cubs have not won a World Series since 1908.

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