Loud Fake Laugh Misinterpreted As Loud Real Laugh In Critical Sarcasm Miscalculation

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Journeyman Fan Joins Sixth NFL Team In 5 Years

HELENA, MT—Continuing his lengthy trek around the league, sources confirmed Friday that 36-year-old journeyman fan Brian Ferretti has joined the Arizona Cardinals, his sixth team in the past five years.

Is The Nation Ready For The Next Katrina?

Friday marks the 10-year anniversary of when Hurricane Katrina devastated New Orleans, and many commentators have argued that not enough has been done over the past decade to address infrastructure and emergency response issues that could put coastal cities nationwide, including New Orleans, at risk of a catastrophe on a similar scale. Is the nation prepared for another Katrina?

Department Of Labor Study Confirms Your Job Most Demanding

‘None Of Your Friends Understand How Hard It Is,’ Report Reads

WASHINGTON—Noting that the level of mental strain associated with the profession was far and away the highest recorded, a federal study on workplace conditions and occupational stress released Thursday has confirmed that your job is the most demanding career in the entire nation, and that none of your friends or family fully understand how hard it is.

Neighborhood Starting To Get Too Safe For Family To Afford

CHICAGO—Explaining that the sense of unease she felt walking to and from her home had declined markedly over the years, Humboldt Park resident Kirsten Healy expressed her disappointment to reporters Thursday that her neighborhood was becoming too safe for her family to afford.
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Deadline For Prior User To Remove Clothes From Dryer Extended 5 Minutes

JOHNSON CITY, TN—Upon finding the machine in her apartment building’s laundry room completely untouched since she last stopped by, exasperated local woman Sandra Hermus reportedly mounted all her magnanimity Monday and extended the deadline for the previous user to remove their clothing from the dryer by five minutes.

Loud Fake Laugh Misinterpreted As Loud Real Laugh In Critical Sarcasm Miscalculation

DAYTON, OH—Confusion and awkwardness are still being felt after a boisterous guffaw intended to convey sarcastic dismissal of a comment was incorrectly interpreted as a positive response by the very person who was being mocked Tuesday. "My laughter led the speaker to infer that I was expressing approval and delight at his statement, and he therefore came away believing that I was supporting said statement when I was in fact ridiculing it," Clayton Obermeyer said of his remarks to coworker Derek Havers. "However, despite my heartfelt desire to puncture the arrogance of the speaker, an unfortunate opposite reaction seems to have taken hold." Obermeyer said he was really looking forward to attempting to explain the nature of sarcasm to Havers, because he was just so sure that the absolute genius would completely grasp every last word without the slightest little bit of trouble whatsoever.