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Scientology Minister Accused Of Molesting Thetans

The Church of Scientology plunged into scandal Thursday when Frank D. Linehan, a prominent minister who has helped thousands of parishioners move up the Bridge to Total Freedom and achieve Clear, was arrested on 471 charges of molesting alien thetans.

How Movies Receive Their Ratings

Many Americans use the MPAA’s formalized rating system as a guide for which films to see. The Onion provides a step-by-step view into how these ratings are chosen:

‘Winnie-The-Pooh’ Turns 90

Winnie-The-Pooh, the A.A. Milne series featuring a stuffed bear and his toy animal friends, debuted 90 years ago this week. Here are some milestones from the franchise’s nearly century-long run:
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Low-Budget Film Panders Just As Shamelessly As Big Studio Feature

NEW YORK—Moviegoers were reportedly impressed this weekend by the ability of an independent feature produced on an $80,000 budget to be just as shamelessly pandering as any blockbuster from a major studio. "Wow. Between its cloying indie soundtrack, quirky animated title sequence, and tangential subplot ending in a failed suicide attempt, I felt every bit as patronized as I did watching Transformers 3," viewer Samantha Holmes, 26, said of the latest release from IFC Films, which stars Kat Dennings and, in a few key scenes in which emotional truths are revealed, Paul Dano. "Maybe even more so, since at least Transformers 3 wasn't pretending to be something it's not." Audience members confirmed the movie ends on a bittersweet note before credits roll to the whistling of a catchy melody accompanied by ukulele.

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