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Biggest Announcements From E3

Each June, E3, or The Electronic Entertainment Expo, hosts game developers showing off their latest products. Here are this year’s most exciting announcements:

‘Star Wars’ Turns 40

When George Lucas’ Star Wars premiered in 1977, the movie quickly became a phenomenon. On its 40th anniversary, The Onion looks back on the franchise’s defining moments:

Ringo Starr Announces 26th Beatles Album With New Backing Band

‘Moonbeam Sunday’ Slated For Release On June 16

LONDON—Excitedly informing fans that the iconic pop group was back with more original music, Ringo Starr announced Tuesday that on June 16 he would be releasing a 26th Beatles album titled ‘Moonbeam Sunday’ with an all-new backing band.
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‘Luck’ Producers Still Killing A Lot Of Horses

LOS ANGELES—Nearly two years after the HBO drama’s early cancellation due to animal rights concerns, the producers of Luck confirmed yesterday that they continue to cripple and euthanize horses on a regular basis. “After production on the series shut down, we pretty much just switched to killing horses full-time; we probably finished off the original herd in about a week,” said producer and show creator David Milch, who explained that he, producers Michael Mann and Carolyn Strauss, and the rest of the crew now receive a fresh shipment of purebreds each week, running the horses until they collapse in painful throes of agony and a veterinarian must be sent onto the track to put them down. “Sometimes Dustin Hoffman still stops by to help out with the killings. We all miss the show, but it’s great that we’ve been able to continue our work on this level, at least.” Sources at HBO reported that the producers plan to explore the world of dog racing next.

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