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What You Need To Know About Last Night’s Oscars Debacle

Many viewers were left wondering about the sequence of events that led to the initial erroneous declaration of ‘La La Land’ as the Best Picture winner at the Academy Awards Sunday instead of the real winner, ‘Moonlight’. The Onion breaks down what you need to know about this fiasco.

Brad Pitt Sidelined 6 To 8 Weeks With Red Carpet Toe

LOS ANGELES—Saying doctors strongly recommended that he stay off the injured foot, representatives for Brad Pitt confirmed to reporters Sunday that the actor was sidelined six to eight weeks with a case of red carpet toe.

The Onion’s 2017 Oscar Picks

The 89th Academy Awards features a more diverse slate of film and actor nominees than in past years, though the ceremony could still field #OscarsSoWhite criticism. Here are The Onion’s picks for who should take home the coveted Oscar statuettes:
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‘Luck’ Producers Still Killing A Lot Of Horses

LOS ANGELES—Nearly two years after the HBO drama’s early cancellation due to animal rights concerns, the producers of Luck confirmed yesterday that they continue to cripple and euthanize horses on a regular basis. “After production on the series shut down, we pretty much just switched to killing horses full-time; we probably finished off the original herd in about a week,” said producer and show creator David Milch, who explained that he, producers Michael Mann and Carolyn Strauss, and the rest of the crew now receive a fresh shipment of purebreds each week, running the horses until they collapse in painful throes of agony and a veterinarian must be sent onto the track to put them down. “Sometimes Dustin Hoffman still stops by to help out with the killings. We all miss the show, but it’s great that we’ve been able to continue our work on this level, at least.” Sources at HBO reported that the producers plan to explore the world of dog racing next.

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