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Helpful Man Saves Woman Effort Of Telling Idea To Boss Herself

ATLANTA—In an unprompted act of generosity from one coworker to another, Spryte Logistics employee Ben Graham reportedly took the initiative to share one of Emily Fehrman’s ideas with their boss on Friday, saving her the time and effort of doing it herself.

Fisher-Price Releases New In Utero Fetal Activity Gym

EAST AURORA, NY—Touting it as the perfect tool for entertaining and stimulating the fetus during gestation, Fisher-Price announced the release Wednesday of a new in utero activity gym. “Whether they’re batting at the friendly toucans in order to harden their cartilage into bone or tapping the multicolored light-up palm tree to test out their sense of vision once their eyes open at 28 weeks, the Fisher-Price Rainforest Friends Prenatal Activity Gym is guaranteed to give your fetus a head start and keep it happy and occupied,” said director of marketing Kevin Goldbaum.

It Kind Of Sweet CEO Thinks He Doing Good Job

SEATTLE—Admitting that the sight of him laying out his vision for the company was pretty endearing, employees at Rainier Solutions reported Monday that it was kind of sweet that CEO Greg Warner thinks he is doing a good job.

How Obamacare Can Be Improved

With Aetna just the latest health insurance provider to opt out of covering Obamacare markets, many are wondering what changes can make the Affordable Care Act more appealing to customers and insurance companies. Here are some proposed improvements

How Internet Clickbait Works

Facebook and other sites have recently begun to fight back against “clickbait,” often misleading internet posts designed to be seen by as many readers as possible. The Onion breaks down the production and spread of this content
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Lucrative New Oil Extraction Method Involves Drilling Directly Into Gas Stations

IRVING, TX—Hailing it as a rapidly replenishable and easily accessible fuel source, ExxonMobil revealed a lucrative new oil extraction method Friday that involves drilling directly into gas stations. “We’ve found nearly unlimited reserves of highly refined petroleum mere meters beneath thousands of service stations across the country,” said ExxonMobil CEO Rex Tillerson, noting that the company had already erected oil extraction rigs alongside pump islands in all 50 states. “As I speak, we’re yielding 3 million barrels per day just by boring through a few thin layers of asphalt, concrete, and metal. And, amazingly enough, the supply seems to somehow refill itself every week.” Tillerson went on to say that the company was exploring the possibility that there were still massive untapped sources of oil already in Americans’ cars, as well as in their homes.

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