Mad Lit Professor Puts Finishing Touches On Bloomsday Device

In This Section

Vol 42 Issue 24

Whaling Ban Nearly Killed

Led by strong opposition from Japan, the body that governs commercial whaling came close to overturning the 20-year-old ban on the practice. What do...

Gates To Leave Microsoft

Bill Gates announced that he will be giving up his duties in the day-to-day operations of Microsoft in 2008. What do you think?

National Meat Surplus

Pork profits are substantially lower than last year because of a massive meat surplus. What do you think?
End Of Section
  • More News
TV Listings
Just Like Everything Else!: Fox 8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. ABC Pete's wife is still on him about building that darn shed, these kids are going to be the death of Sheila and Dave, and the hot next-door neighbor is up in EVERYBODY'S business! Sunday nights on ABC couldn't be any more familiar!

Special Coverage

Productivity

Scientists Posit Theoretical ‘Productive Weekend’

CAMBRIDGE, MA—Challenging long-accepted scientific convention, a group of leading MIT scientists published a report Thursday positing that, under certain rare and specific conditions, a so-called “productive weekend” is theoretically pos...

Late Night

Mad Lit Professor Puts Finishing Touches On Bloomsday Device

DUBLIN—Professor Hanlon O'Faolin, once called "mad" at the Royal Irish Academy for attempting to reanimate the traditional body of Celtic folktales with the power of elcectic multilingual puns, is readying his apoplectic Bloomsday Device for activation on June 16. "Yes! Yes, they laughed at me yes but now yes I will make them pay and yes!" O'Faolin wrote in a letters to the Irish Times, promising the destruction of Dublin on the same day portrayed in Joyce's Ulysses. "When the sun first strikes the Martello Tower, the first notes of 'The Rose of Castille' shall ring out, the streets shall run with rashers, kidneys, and sausages, and I shall forge in the smithy of Dublin's soul the uncreated conscience of my race!" Dublin police say they are working around the clock from profiles to create a portrait of the professor as a crazy man.

Next Story

Onion Video

Watch More