Magazine Editor Undergoes Sleek New Redesign

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Vol 42 Issue 41

CBGB's Closes Down

After 33 years hosting punk shows, legendary club CBGB's closed its doors on Sunday. What do you think?
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Just Like Everything Else!: Fox 8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. ABC Pete's wife is still on him about building that darn shed, these kids are going to be the death of Sheila and Dave, and the hot next-door neighbor is up in EVERYBODY'S business! Sunday nights on ABC couldn't be any more familiar!

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Little League Pitcher Just Getting Fucking Shelled

RED BANK, NJ—After watching the 11-year-old give up the fourth straight double that inning, sources confirmed Sunday afternoon that local Little League pitcher Dustin Bauer is getting absolutely fucking shelled out there.

Magazine Editor Undergoes Sleek New Redesign

NEW YORK—Melissa Williams, editor-in-chief of Urbis magazine, launched a long-anticipated redesign of herself Friday. "I made a conscious decision to look more open and less dense without losing that smart edge that people have come to expect," said Williams, who claimed the new design's smaller size, bolder colors, and smoother lines will give her a broader appeal across upper demographics. "The old look worked well for a long time, but even I had to admit that it was starting to get a little tired." Early feedback has been generally positive, but critics of Williams' new style and format have called her "distracting for all the wrong reasons," "far too busy," and "as hard to read as ever."

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