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Most Valuable Sports Memorabilia

Sports collectibles have skyrocketed in popularity over the past several decades, with sales of such items as game-worn jerseys and autographed rookie cards generating billions of dollars each year. Onion Sports examines the most sought-after and highly valued sports memorabilia in the world.

Sixth Super Bowl Win Continues To Elude Patriots

HOUSTON—As disappointed players and coaches returned to the locker room following the end of Super Bowl LI, members of the New England Patriots acknowledged to reporters Sunday that the team’s sixth Super Bowl title continues to elude them.

Greatest Super Bowl Halftime Shows

The Super Bowl halftime show is a long tradition as occasionally exciting as the game itself. The Onion takes a look back at the all-time greatest Super Bowl halftime shows.

NFL Loses Rights To ‘Super Bowl’

NEW YORK—After failing to agree to terms for a new licensing agreement before the February 3 deadline, the NFL lost the rights to the term “Super Bowl” on Friday, sources confirmed.
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Magglio Ordonez, Placido Polanco Stay Up All Night Talking About Favorite Hitting Situations

DETROIT—Following their game against the Twins Tuesday, Tigers outfielder Magglio Ordonez and second baseman Placido Polanco stayed in their hotel room all night, giddily discussing their favorite in-game hitting situations. "Definitely 2-0 count, one out, runners on the corners, and a lefty on the mound—definitely," Ordonez said, giggling excitedly as he explained how he would sit on a fastball on the outer half of the plate and drive it to the right-center gap. Polanco reportedly shrugged, saying, "That's pretty good, but picture this: right-handed pitcher, day game, on turf, full count, and…runners on first and second. This way, the runners are off with the pitch, and the first baseman would be shading the line to protect against the extra-base hit, so bam, I just punch it right through the hole. Oh, oh, and what about the old one-out, 1-1 count hit-and-run? Can't go wrong with a classic." The two then mentioned how great it would be to hit with a runner on third and less than two outs in October, at which point they both sighed, fell silent, and went to bed.

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