Magnanimous Boss, King Of Kings, Allows Employees To Watch World Cup In Office

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Vol 50 Issue 27

Mick Jagger Blamed For Brazil’s Historic World Cup Defeat

Some Brazilians are blaming Rolling Stones frontman Mick Jagger for their nation’s humiliating 7-1 loss to Germany in the World Cup semifinals Tuesday, suggesting he regularly jinxes teams he cheers for and that the yellow and green jersey he wor...
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Magnanimous Boss, King Of Kings, Allows Employees To Watch World Cup In Office

BOULDER, CO—In a glorious display of his infinite compassion and charity, sources within PLG Marketing Group confirmed Tuesday that the great and magnanimous CEO Daniel Weiss, King of Kings, will allow his employees to freely watch the World Cup semifinal match on a television in the office. “If anyone is interested, today’s World Cup game will be on in the small conference room, so feel free to stop by,” His Grace, The Wise And Benevolent, The Giver Of All Things, reportedly wrote in a company-wide email, reaching down from on high to bestow upon his disciples the splendid fruits of their labor. “The game starts at 2, so be sure to finish up your work before then. Go Germany!” At press time, PLG’s entire staff was quietly debating whether to watch the match in the conference room or to simply stream it discreetly on their computers as they have been doing for the entire tournament thus far.

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