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President’s American Manufacturing Council Down To CEO Of Shoe Carnival

WASHINGTON—Following a series of resignations from prominent CEOs amid the fallout from President Trump’s handling of white-nationalist violence in Charlottesville, VA, White House sources confirmed Tuesday that Trump’s American Manufacturing Council is now down to a single member, Clifton Sifford, CEO and president of Shoe Carnival.

Listen, Area Boss Gets It

PHILADELPHIA—Readily admitting that everything you’re saying makes a lot of sense, Greenwave Media accounts manager Bryan Mellis confirmed on Wednesday that he totally gets it.

Tide Debuts New Sour Apple Detergent Pods

CINCINNATI—Calling it the perfect choice for consumers looking to add some tartness to their laundry, Procter and Gamble on Tuesday unveiled a new sour apple Tide detergent pod.

The iPhone Turns 10

A decade ago today, Apple released the iPhone and revolutionized the way humans use technology. Here’s a look back at the evolution of the iPhone:

Pros And Cons Of The Gig Economy

Americans are increasingly using on-demand services, both as workers and consumers. Here are the major benefits and drawbacks of the gig economy.

Frontier Airlines Tells Customers To Just Fucking Deal With It

‘You’re Uncomfortable For A Few Hours And Then You Get To Be Somewhere Else,’ Says CEO

DENVER—Noting that some discomfort should be expected while traveling to a faraway place in just a few goddamn hours, officials from ultra-low-cost carrier Frontier Airlines reportedly told customers Thursday to just fucking deal with it.
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Majority Of Office’s Supplies Used To Apply For Different Job

ST. PAUL, MN—Sources at local digital marketing agency Fusion Media confirmed Monday that the company’s stationery, broadband connection, printers, fax machines, and various other office equipment and supplies are primarily used by employees to apply for different jobs. “Do you know if we have any more printer paper in the supply closet—maybe some of that nicer, heavier-stock paper we use for presentations?” account executive Ingrid Zander was overheard asking office manager Heidi Campbell, who was herself reportedly using the company’s digital postage meter to send off a résumé and cover letter to a competing business. “And could you check to see if we have any legal envelopes, too? I’m going to need seven of those.” Sources also reported that the four Fusion Media employees who had taken a sick day Monday were all currently seated at a PR firm several blocks away interviewing for the same position.

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Listen, Area Boss Gets It

PHILADELPHIA—Readily admitting that everything you’re saying makes a lot of sense, Greenwave Media accounts manager Bryan Mellis confirmed on Wednesday that he totally gets it.

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