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Most Valuable Sports Memorabilia

Sports collectibles have skyrocketed in popularity over the past several decades, with sales of such items as game-worn jerseys and autographed rookie cards generating billions of dollars each year. Onion Sports examines the most sought-after and highly valued sports memorabilia in the world.

Nation Leery Of Very Odd Little Boy

WASHINGTON—Noting that there was something distinctly unnerving about his mannerisms, physical appearance, and overall demeanor, the nation confirmed Friday that it was leery of very odd 8-year-old Brendan Nault.

What You Need To Know About The Trump Administration’s Ties To Russia

New revelations from the U.S. intelligence community about potentially illegal communications between members of the Trump administration and Russian officials, which led to Michael Flynn resigning as national security advisor Monday, have increased calls for a wider investigation of Trump’s murky ties to Russia. Here’s what you need to know.

A Timeline Of Valentine’s Day History

Every February, people across the world engage in romantic traditions with their loved ones in celebration of Valentine’s Day. The Onion provides a timeline of the holiday’s inception and evolution:
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Maker Of Pizza Rolls Rethinks Letting Fans Tell Its Story

MINNEAPOLIS—Shocked by the sheer volume of depressing videos submitted to their Tell Us Your Totino's Tale campaign, employees at the pizza-roll manufacturer announced Tuesday that they are rethinking their recent user-generated marketing initiative. "In retrospect, perhaps it would have been better for us to have simply gone ahead and told the Totino's story ourselves like we always have," marketing manager Joelle McCaffrey said Friday as she motioned toward a laptop displaying the dozens of sad, mildly disturbing videos she's been forced to watch over the past two weeks. "In each of the clips I've seen so far, everyone was greasy or sweaty. Seven of them mentioned they love pepperoni but didn't have a lot else to say, and at least four said our pizza rolls are the only thing they look forward to each day. One person forgot to turn the camera off and there was just this long shot of her struggling to get out of her chair and walk 10 feet to the door." Admitting the project was a failure, McCaffrey said that Totino's would soon be rolling out a replacement campaign featuring an Italian-accented animated pizza roll.

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Nation Leery Of Very Odd Little Boy

WASHINGTON—Noting that there was something distinctly unnerving about his mannerisms, physical appearance, and overall demeanor, the nation confirmed Friday that it was leery of very odd 8-year-old Brendan Nault.

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