Making Your Marriage Last

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What Smoking A Cigarette Does To The Body

With the FDA recently pulling multiple cigarette brands off the market, the conversation surrounding the harmful effects of smoking has been returning in full force to the national stage. Here is what happens to your body as you smoke a cigarette

Childish 12-Year-Old Still Believes In Father

HARTFORD, CT—Saying she just assumed he would have figured it out by now, local mother Kathleen Rivers expressed concern to reporters Tuesday that her 12-year-old son, Dylan, still believes in his father.
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Just Like Everything Else!: Fox 8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. ABC Pete's wife is still on him about building that darn shed, these kids are going to be the death of Sheila and Dave, and the hot next-door neighbor is up in EVERYBODY'S business! Sunday nights on ABC couldn't be any more familiar!

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Making Your Marriage Last

With the divorce rate at 50 percent, lifelong wedded bliss is far from guaranteed for married couples. Here are some tips to help keep the flame of love burning years after that walk down the aisle.

  • Be sure to thank your spouse whenever they do something nice, even if it's something as small as taking it up the ass.
  • The best way to ensure a long-lasting marriage is to keep your individual needs out of it.
  • Treat your partner with respect. Don't hit him/her in front of relatives.
  • A good relationship leaves room for outside interests. Be supportive of your spouse's rough-sex-with-the-mailman hobby.
  • Cranking out another child is a great way to bring you and your spouse closer together.
  • Never go to bed angry. Stay awake and scream at each other for 24 hours, 36 hours—however long it takes.
  • Always speak to spouse in soothing, patronizing tones.
  • Take out your marital problems on your young children.
  • Communication is the key to a good marriage. Be sure your spouse knows every last little thing you hate about him/her.
  • Sit down with your spouse and work out a diet that will allow you to get big and fat together.
  • If your marriage is truly in jeopardy, stay in touch with your phone psychic at all times.
  • Countless conflicts can be avoided by walking out on your family for years at a time.
  • In a two-job household, both careers need to be considered, even if one is some silly little woman endeavor.
  • One common myth states that hitting is no way to solve a marital dispute, but studies show this is not always the case.
  • If you sense that your marriage is growing stale, accept it and live out the remainder of your days in unfulfilled misery and despair.