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‘Star Wars’ Turns 40

When George Lucas’ Star Wars premiered in 1977, the movie quickly became a phenomenon. On its 40th anniversary, The Onion looks back on the franchise’s defining moments:

Ringo Starr Announces 26th Beatles Album With New Backing Band

‘Moonbeam Sunday’ Slated For Release On June 16

LONDON—Excitedly informing fans that the iconic pop group was back with more original music, Ringo Starr announced Tuesday that on June 16 he would be releasing a 26th Beatles album titled ‘Moonbeam Sunday’ with an all-new backing band.
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Man Actually Shouting At Other Man To Get Jennifer Aniston Romantic Comedy Made

LOS ANGELES—In a tone usually reserved only for life-threatening circumstances, a fully grown man repeatedly raised his voice Monday in order to intimidate another fully grown man into producing a light-hearted, 86-minute Jennifer Aniston film. "I will ruin you!" roared the first man, literally threatening a fellow human being in an effort to get the quirky romantic comedy about a small-town pastry chef made. "I will fucking kill you!" Sources reported the two men continued violently shouting at each other for 15 minutes, and then resumed their racquetball game.

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