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Man Actually Shouting At Other Man To Get Jennifer Aniston Romantic Comedy Made

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Hollywood Stars Overthrown In Bloody C-List Uprising

LOS ANGELES—Unleashing a brutal wave of violence and destruction that has upended the entire power structure of the entertainment industry overnight, the nation’s C-list celebrities have carried out a bloody coup to overthrow the hottest stars in Hollywood, sources reported Tuesday.

Lost Jack London Manuscript, ‘The Doggy,’ Found

RYE, NY—Workers inventorying the estate of a recently deceased Westchester County art dealer earlier this month reportedly stumbled upon a draft of a previously unknown Jack London novel titled The Doggy, and the work is already being hailed by many within the literary world as a masterpiece.
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Man Actually Shouting At Other Man To Get Jennifer Aniston Romantic Comedy Made

LOS ANGELES—In a tone usually reserved only for life-threatening circumstances, a fully grown man repeatedly raised his voice Monday in order to intimidate another fully grown man into producing a light-hearted, 86-minute Jennifer Aniston film. "I will ruin you!" roared the first man, literally threatening a fellow human being in an effort to get the quirky romantic comedy about a small-town pastry chef made. "I will fucking kill you!" Sources reported the two men continued violently shouting at each other for 15 minutes, and then resumed their racquetball game.

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