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A Timeline Of The EPA

A recently introduced House bill that would dissolve the Environmental Protection Agency questions the value of what this agency does and what its goals are. The Onion provides a timeline of the EPA’s 47-year history:

Man Either Sick Or Just At End Of Workday

CINCINNATI—Overwhelmed by a wave of fatigue, local man Will Markowski told reporters Tuesday that he was uncertain whether he was getting sick or if it was just the end of a normal workday.
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Man Appalled At Date Who Lied Slightly More Than Him On Online Dating Profile

SAN FRANCISCO—Frustrated by the exaggeration of her interest in the outdoors as well as her clear lack of knowledge of photography, classic movies, and several other of her listed hobbies, local 32-year-old Joshua Mulville expressed his dismay to reporters that the woman he met for dinner Saturday had lied a bit more than he had on her online dating profile. “She came off a lot different than she seemed online, so I was pretty disappointed,” said Mulville of the woman’s numerous misrepresentations about her personality and appearance that were slightly more egregious than his claims of possessing an easygoing nature, quick wit, and athletic build. “How can you say you love to travel if you’ve never even been out of the country? Plus, I’m sorry, there’s no way she reads The Economist.” Sources confirmed that Mulville’s date was equally aggravated upon discovering that he was exactly as she imagined based on his profile’s numerous Anchorman quotations.

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