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Listen, Area Boss Gets It

PHILADELPHIA—Readily admitting that everything you’re saying makes a lot of sense, Greenwave Media accounts manager Bryan Mellis confirmed on Wednesday that he totally gets it.

Tide Debuts New Sour Apple Detergent Pods

CINCINNATI—Calling it the perfect choice for consumers looking to add some tartness to their laundry, Procter and Gamble on Tuesday unveiled a new sour apple Tide detergent pod.

The iPhone Turns 10

A decade ago today, Apple released the iPhone and revolutionized the way humans use technology. Here’s a look back at the evolution of the iPhone:

Pros And Cons Of The Gig Economy

Americans are increasingly using on-demand services, both as workers and consumers. Here are the major benefits and drawbacks of the gig economy.

Frontier Airlines Tells Customers To Just Fucking Deal With It

‘You’re Uncomfortable For A Few Hours And Then You Get To Be Somewhere Else,’ Says CEO

DENVER—Noting that some discomfort should be expected while traveling to a faraway place in just a few goddamn hours, officials from ultra-low-cost carrier Frontier Airlines reportedly told customers Thursday to just fucking deal with it.

Helpful Man Saves Woman Effort Of Telling Idea To Boss Herself

ATLANTA—In an unprompted act of generosity from one coworker to another, Spryte Logistics employee Ben Graham reportedly took the initiative to share one of Emily Fehrman’s ideas with their boss on Friday, saving her the time and effort of doing it herself.
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Man Attempting To Determine Whether Restaurant Closed Without Getting Too Close

BALTIMORE—As he squinted and craned his neck in an effort to peer through the establishment’s front windows from the sidewalk across the street, local man Shane Peterson confided to reporters Friday that he was attempting to ascertain whether the cafe and bakery was actually closed without having to get too close. “I think I can see a waitresses walking around, but they could just be cleaning before they lock up for the day—it’s hard to tell,” said the man who was actively avoiding getting any closer than 40 feet from the eatery’s entrance, while noting that though all of the lights remained on, he wasn’t sure if they just left them on all the time, and adding that the last thing he wanted was to walk all the way to the front door just to pull on the handle and find it locked. “Right now, it’s about 2:45, but I don’t know if they normally stay open to 2 or 3 or what. I guess they could have closed early. There’s a sign on the door with the hours, but I can’t see it from here. Maybe I’ll just wait to see if someone goes in.” At press time, a restaurant employee had apparently noticed Peterson, causing him to hastily avert his gaze and walk around the corner.

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