Helpful Man Saves Woman Effort Of Telling Idea To Boss Herself

ATLANTA—In an unprompted act of generosity from one coworker to another, Spryte Logistics employee Ben Graham reportedly took the initiative to share one of Emily Fehrman’s ideas with their boss on Friday, saving her the time and effort of doing it herself.

Fisher-Price Releases New In Utero Fetal Activity Gym

EAST AURORA, NY—Touting it as the perfect tool for entertaining and stimulating the fetus during gestation, Fisher-Price announced the release Wednesday of a new in utero activity gym. “Whether they’re batting at the friendly toucans in order to harden their cartilage into bone or tapping the multicolored light-up palm tree to test out their sense of vision once their eyes open at 28 weeks, the Fisher-Price Rainforest Friends Prenatal Activity Gym is guaranteed to give your fetus a head start and keep it happy and occupied,” said director of marketing Kevin Goldbaum.

It Kind Of Sweet CEO Thinks He Doing Good Job

SEATTLE—Admitting that the sight of him laying out his vision for the company was pretty endearing, employees at Rainier Solutions reported Monday that it was kind of sweet that CEO Greg Warner thinks he is doing a good job.

How Obamacare Can Be Improved

With Aetna just the latest health insurance provider to opt out of covering Obamacare markets, many are wondering what changes can make the Affordable Care Act more appealing to customers and insurance companies. Here are some proposed improvements

How Internet Clickbait Works

Facebook and other sites have recently begun to fight back against “clickbait,” often misleading internet posts designed to be seen by as many readers as possible. The Onion breaks down the production and spread of this content
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Man Attempting To Determine Whether Restaurant Closed Without Getting Too Close

BALTIMORE—As he squinted and craned his neck in an effort to peer through the establishment’s front windows from the sidewalk across the street, local man Shane Peterson confided to reporters Friday that he was attempting to ascertain whether the cafe and bakery was actually closed without having to get too close. “I think I can see a waitresses walking around, but they could just be cleaning before they lock up for the day—it’s hard to tell,” said the man who was actively avoiding getting any closer than 40 feet from the eatery’s entrance, while noting that though all of the lights remained on, he wasn’t sure if they just left them on all the time, and adding that the last thing he wanted was to walk all the way to the front door just to pull on the handle and find it locked. “Right now, it’s about 2:45, but I don’t know if they normally stay open to 2 or 3 or what. I guess they could have closed early. There’s a sign on the door with the hours, but I can’t see it from here. Maybe I’ll just wait to see if someone goes in.” At press time, a restaurant employee had apparently noticed Peterson, causing him to hastily avert his gaze and walk around the corner.

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