Man Born To Party Dies Partying

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Area Dad Thinks Refs Should Just Let Them Play Football

DOYLESTOWN, PA—Facetiously questioning how the game had suddenly become a non-contact sport, local father Aaron Harper confirmed his belief Thursday that referees officiating a Thanksgiving game between the Philadelphia Eagles and Detroit Lions should just let them play football out there.
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Just Like Everything Else!: Fox 8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. ABC Pete's wife is still on him about building that darn shed, these kids are going to be the death of Sheila and Dave, and the hot next-door neighbor is up in EVERYBODY'S business! Sunday nights on ABC couldn't be any more familiar!

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    ELIZABETH, NJ—Moments after losing his composure with an unwarranted emotional outburst, local father David Kessler reportedly apologized to his son Christopher Thursday for erroneously taking out his anger on him and not his older brother Peter.


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    The number of Americans who went to the movies hit a 20-year low in 2014, leaving theaters scrambling to find ways to incentivize the public to see new releases on the big screen rather than watch films at home or on the internet. Here are some methods theaters are using to win back audiences and increase box office sales:

Man Born To Party Dies Partying

DETROIT—Loading-dock worker Randy Scharf, 25, who often described himself as "born to party," died while partying, his aggrieved friends announced Monday. "Randy was always up for a good time," said friend Steven "Beevo" Bollinger, who threw the house party Saturday night that proved to be Scharf's last. "He was the only guy I know who could drink a quart and a half of rum and still be ready for a night of barhopping." Scharf, who fell to his death while scaling the wall above a sixth-floor balcony, is survived by his loving parents, Mark and Anne, and his brother, Tony "Barf" Scharf.