adBlockCheck

Man Builds House He Designed When He Was Eight Years Old

Top Headlines

Recent News

360 Tour: Inside The RNC

The Onion invites you to explore our view from the floor of the 2016 Republican National Convention in Cleveland.

Good Guy With Gun, Bad Guy With Gun Both Excited To Unload Firearm In Crowd Outside Arena

CLEVELAND—As each of them looked around at the people gathered outside Quicken Loans Arena and fantasized about unholstering their weapon and taking aim directly at others, both a good guy with a gun and a bad guy with a gun attending the Republican National Convention reportedly worked themselves into a heightened state of excitement Thursday at the thought of unloading their firearm into the crowd.

Bob Dole Picked Off By Large Hawk Circling Arena Parking Lot

CLEVELAND—Describing how the bird of prey suddenly dived down from the sky at high velocity, sources confirmed Thursday that former GOP presidential nominee Bob Dole was picked off by a large red-tailed hawk circling above the Quicken Loans Arena parking lot.
End Of Section
  • More News
Up Next

Man Builds House He Designed When He Was Eight Years Old

LODI, CA–A lifelong dream was realized Monday following the completion of "Fort Awesome," the high-tech home of the future Lodi architect Don Reese designed as an 8-year-old boy. "My dream is at last a reality," said the 36-year-old Reese, cutting the ribbon on the 10-room, 16-story mansion, which boasts a rooftop trampoline, seven free soda machines, and a McDonald's. "From this day forth, let Fort Awesome serve as a citadel of fun and excitement for all to enjoy. Except Dougie Wendell." A $5 million laser-guided trap-door system was installed to protect the home from infiltration by Wendell, a onetime Reese playmate who is now an actuary in Danbury, CT.

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

X Close