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What To Watch For In The New Obi-Wan Kenobi Film

Disney has announced they are in the early stages of developing a stand-alone ‘Star Wars’ film focused on the adventures of Jedi master Obi-Wan Kenobi. Here’s what fans can expect to see in the upcoming release.

Man In Center Of Political Spectrum Under Impression He Less Obnoxious

MT. VERNON, OH—Loudly explaining to anyone within earshot that both the left and right were ruining the level of discourse in this country, Jesse Levin, a man firmly in the center of the political spectrum, is under the impression that he is less obnoxious than those with more partisan viewpoints, sources reported Friday.
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Black Man Does 8 Years

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Man Can’t Believe Obama Would Use Tragedy To Push Anti-Tragedy Agenda

SEDALIA, MO—Following yesterday’s speech by the president addressing the recent events in Roseburg, OR, local 42-year-old Tim Moss expressed his outrage to reporters that President Obama was attempting to capitalize off a tragedy to push his anti-tragedy agenda. “It’s just disgusting and shameful that, once again, the first thing out of Obama’s mouth after a tragedy is that he wants to limit tragedies,” said Moss, adding that it is both insensitive and opportunistic of the president to suddenly shift the conversation toward curbing the number of tragedies as the nation mourns in the wake of this tragedy. “Every single time this happens, he makes the tragedy all about clamping down on tragedies, and it’s simply not the time or the place for him to be going in front of the camera and pushing for steps to decrease the number of tragedies. Christ, this is a national tragedy we’re dealing with right now.” Moss added that he hopes Obama conducts himself more appropriately during the next tragedy.


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