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Stunned Adam Schefter Receives Ominous Tip From Future Self

BRISTOL, CT—Slowly returning to his desk shaken and confused, sources reported Wednesday that ESPN NFL Insider Adam Schefter was stunned to receive an ominous tip from his future self while walking through one of his office building’s hallways.

Infographic: 20 Years Of Netflix

Netflix was founded as an online DVD rental service in 1997 and has since evolved into a subscription-based streaming platform with its own slate of original programming. The Onion looks back at the most important moments in the company’s 20-year history.

Musical The Kind With Number About Putting On A Show

TALLAHASSEE, FL—Noting the increasingly animated choreography and behavior of the characters on stage, sources at the Tallahassee Community Theatre reported Friday that this is apparently the kind of musical with a big number about putting on a show.

What To Watch For In The New Obi-Wan Kenobi Film

Disney has announced they are in the early stages of developing a stand-alone ‘Star Wars’ film focused on the adventures of Jedi master Obi-Wan Kenobi. Here’s what fans can expect to see in the upcoming release.
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Man Cruises By William H. Macy's Website To Check Out The Latest News

BAYONNE, NJ—Not wanting to miss out on the latest William H. Macy news, local resident Andy Dorman popped by the actor's official website Wednesday to check it out and update himself on everything Macy. "I was already surfing the web, so I figured why not zip on over to WilliamHMacy.net and see what he's got cooking," a satisfied Dorman said of the visit, during which he pored over Macy's filmography page and signed the actor's guest book. "Did you know he was born in Miami but grew up in Georgia and Maryland? He's apparently pretty involved in charities, too." While admitting he was disappointed that the videos page was still under construction, Dorman said he was looking forward to e-mailing Macy as soon as he thinks of a good question to ask him.

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