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Report: Grandpa Just Walks Like That Now

CULVER CITY, CA—According to family sources, the prominent limp displayed by local grandpa Marvin Adelstein on Tuesday is indicative of the fact that he just walks like that now.

Family Moves Elderly Aunt Into Subconscious

RIO RANCHO, NM—After months spent deliberating the best option for their family, members of the Cooper household decided on Monday to move their elderly aunt Joyce Reynolds into their collective subconscious.

Wife Dropping Hints She Ready To Have Second Husband

LA JOLLA, CA—Noticing a sudden change in her demeanor and attentiveness when around young married men, sources confirmed Tuesday that area woman Michelle Roderick was beginning to drop hints that she wanted to try for a second husband.
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Man Deeply Suspicious After Insurer Covers Prescription Without Hassle

GAS CITY, IN—Taking for granted that his employer’s insurance would not cover the cost of his prescription antibiotics, local man Aaron Lasser was reportedly left deeply suspicious Thursday after being told by the pharmacist his plan had in fact paid for the medication in its entirety. “I went into CVS naturally assuming I’d have to pay at least 30 bucks out of pocket, but then the guy at the pharmacy counter said I was all set,” said a baffled Lasser, who added that, after looking down at the receipt for $0 stapled to the bag containing his prescription, he asked the pharmacist to double-check that there hadn’t been a mistake. “There wasn’t even a co-pay. That doesn’t make sense, does it? I need to get this sorted out. They’ll probably penalize me or something.” At press time, a skeptical Lasser was dialing the 800 number on the back of his insurance card to get to the bottom of what happened.

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Family Moves Elderly Aunt Into Subconscious

RIO RANCHO, NM—After months spent deliberating the best option for their family, members of the Cooper household decided on Monday to move their elderly aunt Joyce Reynolds into their collective subconscious.

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