adBlockCheck

Man Dies After Long And Painful Battle With Life

Top Headlines

Recent News

Man Practices Haircut Request Before Heading To Barber

MINNEAPOLIS—Having scripted a set of lines he hoped to deliver with confidence and decisiveness, local 34-year-old Jason Clyne carefully rehearsed his haircut request several times Friday before heading to his local barbershop, sources confirmed.

Weddings vs. Eloping

Many couples who don’t want to put the time and money toward a wedding simply run off and get married in secret. Here is a side-by-side comparison of planning a wedding and eloping

EPA Urges Flint Residents To Stop Dumping Tap Water Down Drain

FLINT, MI—Citing the significant health and safety risks that it poses to public infrastructure and the local ecosystem, the Environmental Protection Agency released a statement Thursday urging residents of Flint to discontinue dumping tap water down their drains.

New OSHA Regulations To Cut Down On Workplace Mutations

WASHINGTON—In an attempt to address the troubling number of genetic transformations occurring in workplaces across the nation, the United States Occupational Safety and Health Administration unveiled new regulations this week aimed at reducing on-the-job mutations, sources confirmed.

Brita Unveils New In-Throat Water Filters

OAKLAND, CA—Representatives from Brita, the nation’s bestselling brand of household water filtration products, held a press event Wednesday to unveil a new line of filters designed to be installed directly inside users’ throats.

Upcoming Changes To U.S. Currency

Secretary of the Treasury Jack Lew recently announced a series of significant changes to U.S. currency. Here are some of the more notable alterations on the horizon
End Of Section
  • More News
Up Next
TV Listings
Just Like Everything Else!: Fox 8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. ABC Pete's wife is still on him about building that darn shed, these kids are going to be the death of Sheila and Dave, and the hot next-door neighbor is up in EVERYBODY'S business! Sunday nights on ABC couldn't be any more familiar!

Special Coverage

Satisfaction

Lawn and Garden

Man Dies After Long And Painful Battle With Life

LEWISTOWN, MT—Gerald Carruthers, a retired insurance agent and father of three, died Monday at 77 following a long and painful battle with life.

Gerald Carruthers and wife Joyce.

"Thank God it's finally over," said Maria Heupel, 53, his eldest daughter. "He was in such terrible pain those last 70 or so years. You could just see it eating away at him from within. By the end, he was just a hollow, wasted shell."

"The agony for him had been overwhelming since about 1930," Heupel added. "It's amazing he lasted as long as he did."

Carruthers, once a happy and vital toddler, had his first painful episode shortly after his fourth birthday, when his father beat him with a cane for accidentally urinating on a favorite rug.

Other such episodes occurred with regularity throughout Carruthers' life. An awkward adolescence was followed by a middling stint at the University of Montana. After years of woefully few dates, Carruthers' disease went into brief remission in 1948, when he met and courted Joyce Lowell during a leave of absence from the Air Force. His suffering returned, however, when he was forced to quickly marry Lowell after she became pregnant with his child. Carruthers resigned from the Air Force and, from that point on, the erosion of his spirit accelerated.

His personal growth badly stunted, Carruthers shelved his dreams of becoming a pilot and instead became an insurance agent. Unfortunately, his meager salary meant that he would be unable to afford relief in the form of material comforts or vacations. By the time Carruthers reached his 40s, he found himself so crippled, he could only lie on his sofa and watch TV after work.

"He tried to be brave," said wife Joyce Carruthers, who watched Gerald's struggle with life transform him from a moody 30-year-old insurance agent into a deeply bitter, borderline-alcoholic 60-year-old insurance agent. "But it's not easy. His pain made it impossible for him to enjoy our wedding day, the birth of his children, even a normal weekend with his family. You can't imagine what the ordeal was like for him."

According to his personal physician, Dr. Clement Kirschwasser, Carruthers' search for a cure followed a pattern common among those afflicted with life.

"He tried just about every form of treatment: diet, exercise, rest, therapy, the usual array of drugs and alcohol—you name it," Kirschwasser said. "But he didn't respond to any of them. Occasionally, there would be a slight reduction in symptoms, but inevitably, hopelessness and demoralization would always set in again."

Toward the end, Carruthers was exhausted and drained of the will to fight. Family members say that even if he had made the effort, he was too far gone to be saved.

"He might have tried some Eastern techniques or the more exotic pharmacological approaches, but the wasting ravages of life had already done their damage," said son Daniel Carruthers, 49, who with his three disappointing children, failed marriage, and exorbitant alimony payments, is already in the advanced stages of the syndrome that claimed his father's life.

"I just hope that when my turn comes, I go peacefully in my sleep like Dad," Daniel continued. "Come to think of it, the sooner the better."

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

X Close