adBlockCheck

Man Disgusted Just By Constant Thought Of 2 Guys Kissing

Top Headlines

Recent News

Budget Travel Tips

With the bloated cost of airfare and hotels, many people are looking to save on travel however they can. Here are The Onion’s tips for planning a memorable vacation without overspending.

Report: Well, Here We Go

WASHINGTON—With Donald Trump’s two remaining GOP rivals suspending their candidacies and clearing a path for the billionaire businessman to assume the Republican presidential nomination, reports indicated Wednesday that, well, hoo boy, here we go.

Ted Cruz Dressed For Campaign Rally By Swarm Of Loyal Vermin

INDIANAPOLIS—In what has reportedly become a daily routine on the campaign trail, Republican presidential candidate Ted Cruz stood alone in the center of his hotel suite Tuesday morning where he was carefully dressed and groomed by a swarm of loyal vermin.

Facebook’s Plans For The Future

From instant articles to live video, Facebook continues to look for new ways to expand its reach and offerings. Here are some plans on the horizon for the social media giant
End Of Section
  • More News
Up Next
TV Listings
Just Like Everything Else!: Fox 8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. ABC Pete's wife is still on him about building that darn shed, these kids are going to be the death of Sheila and Dave, and the hot next-door neighbor is up in EVERYBODY'S business! Sunday nights on ABC couldn't be any more familiar!

Special Coverage

Good Eating

Man Disgusted Just By Constant Thought Of 2 Guys Kissing

BLUFFTON, SC—Local man Russell Morrill told reporters Wednesday that he feels an acute sense of disgust simply at the constant thought of two men kissing. “Just endlessly imagining two dudes making out is enough to make me want to vomit,” said Morrill, 31, adding that the mere persistent mental image of two grown men lovingly embracing, let alone engaging in progressively more intimate acts, leaves him utterly nauseated. “Seriously, all it takes is envisioning two guys sticking their tongues down each other’s throats from the moment I wake up in the morning, and I’m sick to my stomach.” At press time, Morrill said he also cringed just at the incessant idea that his gay coworker would make a move on him and finally set him free.

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

X Close