NEW YORK—According to sources throughout the commercial aviation sector, the nation’s airlines will begin installing awkwardly placed bumps in every airplane seatback this week because it reportedly brings great pleasure to them.
FORT WAYNE, IN—Dan Haft, 24, failed to realize that his date with Mindy Camden went terribly Saturday. "On a scale of 1 to 10, I'd have to give tonight a 9," Haft said following the date, which was characterized by awkward conversation and a distinct lack of chemistry. "It's a safe bet we'll be seeing each other again." Haft incorrectly added that he and Camden "were definitely vibing on each other."