adBlockCheck

Recent News

Brad Pitt Sidelined 6 To 8 Weeks With Red Carpet Toe

LOS ANGELES—Saying doctors strongly recommended that he stay off the injured foot, representatives for Brad Pitt confirmed to reporters Sunday that the actor was sidelined six to eight weeks with a case of red carpet toe.

The Onion’s 2017 Oscar Picks

The 89th Academy Awards features a more diverse slate of film and actor nominees than in past years, though the ceremony could still field #OscarsSoWhite criticism. Here are The Onion’s picks for who should take home the coveted Oscar statuettes:
End Of Section
  • More News

Man Eating McChicken Sandwich Can Tell McDonald's Switched Up Antibiotics

SEATTLE—Citing “subtle notes of ethambutol and clindamycin,” longtime McDonald’s customer Chris Hingle reported Thursday that he could discern from the taste of his McChicken sandwich a definite change in the antibiotics the fast food giant uses in its poultry. “This tastes way less ciprofloxacin-y than the McChicken did a year ago,” Hingle stated after two bites of the crispy dollar-menu item. “It’s good and all, but I really wish they’d bring back the old macrolide blend with the dirithromycin and troleandomycin. That’s the taste I grew up with.” Hingle later added that the Wendy’s restaurant chain “seriously needs to find a better thickening and gelling agent” if it hopes to sell him another Frosty.

More Videos

WATCH VIDEO FROM THE ONION

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

Close
settings