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Islam: Myth Vs. Fact

In the wake of President Trump’s proposed immigration ban targeting largely Muslim countries, The Onion separates myth from fact regarding the religion of Islam.

Players To Watch In The Sweet 16

The 2017 NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament has provided thrilling upsets and amazing comebacks in the first two rounds. Onion Sports presents a guide to the 10 players to watch in the Sweet 16.

Archaeologists Uncover Last Human To Die Happy

DEMBECHA, ETHIOPIA—In a startling find that contributes significantly to the understanding of modern man’s evolutionary development, University of Edinburgh archaeologists working in Ethiopia’s Afar Region announced Wednesday that they have uncovered the preserved remains of the last human to die happy.
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Man Eating McChicken Sandwich Can Tell McDonald's Switched Up Antibiotics

SEATTLE—Citing “subtle notes of ethambutol and clindamycin,” longtime McDonald’s customer Chris Hingle reported Thursday that he could discern from the taste of his McChicken sandwich a definite change in the antibiotics the fast food giant uses in its poultry. “This tastes way less ciprofloxacin-y than the McChicken did a year ago,” Hingle stated after two bites of the crispy dollar-menu item. “It’s good and all, but I really wish they’d bring back the old macrolide blend with the dirithromycin and troleandomycin. That’s the taste I grew up with.” Hingle later added that the Wendy’s restaurant chain “seriously needs to find a better thickening and gelling agent” if it hopes to sell him another Frosty.

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