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Best Sports Documentaries

With ESPN’s film ‘OJ: Made In America’ emerging as an Oscars frontrunner this year, Onion Sports looks back at some of the greatest sports documentaries of all time.

New EPA Chief Proposes 30% Cut In All Carbon-Based Organisms

WASHINGTON—Expressing confidence that the nation would meet the ambitious benchmarks by the end of Donald Trump’s presidential term, Scott Pruitt, the president-elect’s nominee for chief of the Environmental Protection Agency, said Thursday he would seek a 30 percent cut in all carbon-based organisms upon assuming office.
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Man Gets All The Way To Hospital Just To Find Out Wife Will Be Fine

BRIDGEPORT, CT—Responding to a distressing message left on his voicemail, Martin Hermenson drove all the way across town to Bridgeport Hospital Saturday, only to learn that his wife Kara will be fine. "All I heard was 'Kara fell off a ladder,' so I left work and rushed right to the emergency room," Hermenson said. "I got there, and it turned out she'd fractured her fibula—no big deal at all. It wasn't like she was never going to walk again." Hermenson added that he didn't see why he had to waste perfectly good Knicks tickets that night, when Kara went straight to bed after getting home anyway.

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