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MLB Unveils Memorial For Runners Stranded On Base

NEW YORK—Solemnly ringing a bell 30 times for each of the teams that lost potential runs this season, Major League Baseball officials unveiled Tuesday a memorial outside league headquarters to commemorate all of the runners who have ever been stranded on base.

Dale Earnhardt Jr. Submits Paperwork For Gas Reimbursement

LONG POND, PA—Hunching over the steering wheel of his idling No. 88 Chevrolet SS to closely inspect the odometer, NASCAR driver Dale Earnhardt Jr. was reportedly in the process of submitting paperwork Monday to reimburse his gas expenses for the month.

A-Rod Donates $25 Million To Be Displayed In Glass Case In Baseball Hall Of Fame

COOPERSTOWN, NY—Ensuring that a treasured piece of the game’s history will be forever preserved for future generations of fans, representatives of the National Baseball Hall of Fame confirmed Friday that retired third baseman Alex Rodriguez recently donated $25 million of his earnings to be displayed inside a glass case in their museum.
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Man Gets In Best Shape Of Life To Hang From Bar

BEIJING—Over the course of two years, gymnast Fabian Hambuchen has sculpted his body into peak physical condition, reportedly training three times per day, running up to 70 miles per week, and going to the gym as early as 6 a.m. in order to hang from a horizontal bar for various 30-second intervals over the next two weeks. "This is the best I've ever been," said Hambuchen, whose superior cardiovascular system and 2.2 percent body fat are sufficient to allow him to climb Mount Everest, but who will instead hang from, swing from, and jump down from a nine-foot-high bar. "I've trained my whole life for this moment." Hambuchen is currently ranked 14th in the world at hanging from a bar.

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