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Mom In Nightgown Mode

APPLETON, WI—Noting that the changeover occurred “right on schedule” after she had finished the dishes and watched TV for an hour or two, family sources confirmed Monday night that local mom Linda Rampling had officially transitioned into nightgown mode.

Car Rolls Up To Stoplight Blasting Google Maps Directions

HOUSTON—Attracting the attention of adjacent motorists and nearby pedestrians who turned their heads to see where the booming noise was coming from, a 2006 Ford Focus is said to have rolled up to a local stoplight Friday blaring Google Maps directions.

34-Year-Old Asks For Big Piece

MADISON, WI—Directing the server to the large square in the corner, local 34-year-old Matthew Hinke asked for a big piece of cake during a workplace birthday party, sources confirmed Tuesday.
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Man Hoping People Notice How Many Folding Chairs He’s Carrying At Once

TALLAHASSEE, FL—Looking visibly flushed as he hurried across the gymnasium floor, local teacher Greg Tollefson reportedly hoped that everyone helping to clean up after Thursday morning’s assembly at Mangrove Hills High School would notice how many folding chairs he was carrying at once. “You can just leave those there—I’ll come back and get the rest,” said Tollefson, hoping that his addition of a fourth folding chair to the three already secured under each of his arms would be seen and admired by all. “Yeah, I got it. You guys can focus on packing up the AV equipment.” At press time, sources confirmed that Tollefson was fairly certain that at least a few people had noticed he had chosen the heavier metal chairs over the plastic stackable ones.

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