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Report: Grandpa Just Walks Like That Now

CULVER CITY, CA—According to family sources, the prominent limp displayed by local grandpa Marvin Adelstein on Tuesday is indicative of the fact that he just walks like that now.

Family Moves Elderly Aunt Into Subconscious

RIO RANCHO, NM—After months spent deliberating the best option for their family, members of the Cooper household decided on Monday to move their elderly aunt Joyce Reynolds into their collective subconscious.

Wife Dropping Hints She Ready To Have Second Husband

LA JOLLA, CA—Noticing a sudden change in her demeanor and attentiveness when around young married men, sources confirmed Tuesday that area woman Michelle Roderick was beginning to drop hints that she wanted to try for a second husband.
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Man In Elevator In On Conversation Now

CHICAGO—Following the unprompted remarks he made over his shoulder, an unidentified man currently riding the elevator with Regent Business Solutions coworkers Joseph Roper and Adam McIntosh is apparently now in on the conversation, sources confirmed Monday. “Oh, Western Barbecue? I went there last week, actually. Great place,” said the anonymous individual, who is now, evidently, an active participant in the dialogue, and who will continue to offer his thoughts and reactions throughout the discourse until the elevator reaches Regent’s offices on the seventh floor. “You’ve gotta try the brisket. Best in the city, if you ask me.” At press time, after Roper and McIntosh had exited at their floor, the unnamed man was seen pressing the button to hold the elevator door open while relaying his plans for the upcoming weekend.

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Family Moves Elderly Aunt Into Subconscious

RIO RANCHO, NM—After months spent deliberating the best option for their family, members of the Cooper household decided on Monday to move their elderly aunt Joyce Reynolds into their collective subconscious.

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