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With titles such as ‘FIFA 17’ and ’NBA 2K17’ expected to be popular gifts this holiday season, Onion Sports looks back on some of the best sports video games of all time.

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President-elect Donald Trump made a variety of lofty promises during his campaign as part of a pledge to “make America great again.” The Onion looks at several of these promises and evaluates whether Trump will be willing or able to follow through on them.

Being A Mom Was The Best Four Years Of My Life!

As I get older, I find myself reflecting on my life more often and marveling at what an amazing journey it’s been. I’ve made tons of great friends, been to magnificent places all over the world, and learned so many important things about myself along the way. But if I’m being honest, there’s one period of my life that stands out from all the rest: those four incredible years when I was a mom.
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Man Invisible On Gchat Observes World From Impregnable Perch

ST. LOUIS—Having earlier in the day set his Gchat status to “invisible,” local man Jeff Young, 29, reportedly spent his Wednesday afternoon monitoring the comings and goings of his various online contacts as a silent and unknowable observer, espying the world and its madding crowd from his lofty, impregnable perch. “Here I lurk, unseen and yet all-seeing, privy to the deepest and darkest secrets of all who toil below me,” Young said, moments after withdrawing into the virtual shadows, all evidence of his very online existence obscured by an unassuming gray circle in his Gchat sidebar. “I am a watcher of limitless vision, unknown to the watched, gazing with fearsome power and great solemnity upon those pitiable fools whose online presence lies in plain sight. Lo, in my omniscience, I am akin to God Himself.” At press time, Young’s girlfriend had somehow breached his seemingly impenetrable observatory, demanding to know why he was ignoring her.

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