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What You Need To Know About Last Night’s Oscars Debacle

Many viewers were left wondering about the sequence of events that led to the initial erroneous declaration of ‘La La Land’ as the Best Picture winner at the Academy Awards Sunday instead of the real winner, ‘Moonlight’. The Onion breaks down what you need to know about this fiasco.
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Man Just Wants To Come Home, Hear Lindsay Lohan Made Fun Of, Get Some Sleep

BELLEVUE, NE—Having just put in another double shift at work, 41-year-old utility worker Charlie Bellows reported Tuesday that he would like nothing more than to return home, sit on his couch, listen to utterly predictable jokes about troubled starlet Lindsay Lohan, and get a full night's rest. "All day long, I look forward to kicking back and hearing a series of lame cheap shots at Lindsay Lohan's expense before I head to bed," said Bellows, who claimed that with the stresses of his job he needed time at the end of every day to just unwind and listen to a hack comedian rip into the emotionally damaged young woman. "I don't think that's too much to ask." Bellows also claimed that after a good night's sleep, nothing prepares him for another hard day of work like a large cup of coffee and a loud radio personality's stale, shallow jabs at politicians.

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