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MLB Unveils Memorial For Runners Stranded On Base

NEW YORK—Solemnly ringing a bell 30 times for each of the teams that lost potential runs this season, Major League Baseball officials unveiled Tuesday a memorial outside league headquarters to commemorate all of the runners who have ever been stranded on base.

Dale Earnhardt Jr. Submits Paperwork For Gas Reimbursement

LONG POND, PA—Hunching over the steering wheel of his idling No. 88 Chevrolet SS to closely inspect the odometer, NASCAR driver Dale Earnhardt Jr. was reportedly in the process of submitting paperwork Monday to reimburse his gas expenses for the month.

A-Rod Donates $25 Million To Be Displayed In Glass Case In Baseball Hall Of Fame

COOPERSTOWN, NY—Ensuring that a treasured piece of the game’s history will be forever preserved for future generations of fans, representatives of the National Baseball Hall of Fame confirmed Friday that retired third baseman Alex Rodriguez recently donated $25 million of his earnings to be displayed inside a glass case in their museum.
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Man Looks Up 'Baseball' On Wikipedia

SAN FRANCISCO—Confused by a news report about someone named Barry Zito, local fan Tad Knackers took 20 or so minutes Tuesday to research the entry for baseball on Wikipedia and familiarize himself with the broader points of the game. "Apparently it is often referred to as the 'national pastime' and has had a profound cultural impact since it was first popularized around the turn of the century," said Knackers, who added that he was particularly curious about how the bases were numbered. "I learned about all the greats, like Jackie Robinson and Barry Bonds and Peter Gammons and Bull Durham, and I just couldn't stop clicking on the different links to learn more, like 'ahead in the count' and 'Baseball in the United Kingdom.' Plus, I finally know what a tag out is." Knackers eventually went on to read about the history of mixed-sex education in America.

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