adBlockCheck

Entertainment

What You Need To Know About Last Night’s Oscars Debacle

Many viewers were left wondering about the sequence of events that led to the initial erroneous declaration of ‘La La Land’ as the Best Picture winner at the Academy Awards Sunday instead of the real winner, ‘Moonlight’. The Onion breaks down what you need to know about this fiasco.

Brad Pitt Sidelined 6 To 8 Weeks With Red Carpet Toe

LOS ANGELES—Saying doctors strongly recommended that he stay off the injured foot, representatives for Brad Pitt confirmed to reporters Sunday that the actor was sidelined six to eight weeks with a case of red carpet toe.

The Onion’s 2017 Oscar Picks

The 89th Academy Awards features a more diverse slate of film and actor nominees than in past years, though the ceremony could still field #OscarsSoWhite criticism. Here are The Onion’s picks for who should take home the coveted Oscar statuettes:
End Of Section
  • More News

Man Not Accepting Any More Television Recommendations At This Time

CINCINNATI—Issuing the proclamation directly to friends and family Wednesday afternoon, local man Sean Patterson officially announced he is no longer accepting television series recommendations at this time. “While I am grateful for all of the input I have received in recent weeks, I must regretfully inform you that the window for offering new televised programming suggestions for me to watch has officially closed,” said the 43-year-old, adding that, as of noon today, no further titles of network, cable, or online streaming shows would be considered for potential viewing, no matter how star-studded or critically acclaimed. “I might seek input regarding new televised content to watch in the future, at which point I will make a public announcement alerting all concerned parties of my intention to find a new show to watch, and I will urge you all to resubmit your recommendations for any police procedurals, comedies, and true crime miniseries you think I’ll enjoy. However, until that time, I will be unable to process any further television consumption proposals. Thank you for your understanding on this matter.” At press time, Patterson had temporarily lifted his TV recommendation moratorium after abandoning his sister Lynn’s suggestion of Designated Survivor one and a half episodes in.

More Videos

WATCH VIDEO FROM THE ONION

More from this section

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

Close