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National Zoo Announces Giant Pandas To Divorce

WASHINGTON—Assuring the public that the decision was difficult but the right thing to do for all parties involved, the Smithsonian National Zoological Park announced Friday that their giant pandas would be divorcing.

New Climate Change Report Just List Of Years Each Country Becomes Uninhabitable

GENEVA—Stating that the data published within its pages represented the scientific consensus of top researchers around the world, the U.N. Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change released its annual report this week, which consists solely of an alphabetized list of every country on earth and the years each of them will become uninhabitable.

Pros And Cons Of Electric Cars

With technology improving and more automobile companies releasing electric models, electric cars are becoming a common alternative for American consumers. Here are the pros and cons of electric vehicles.
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Man On Date Ready For Question About Siblings This Time

DURHAM, NC—Noting he had been caught off-guard by the question on first dates in the past, area 32-year-old Logan Firks told reporters Monday he is confident he will be ready to answer this time if the woman he is meeting for dinner asks about his siblings. “The last date I went on was going pretty well for a while, but then she just asked me point-blank if I had any brothers and sisters and I totally froze up—I didn’t know what to do,” said Firks, adding that while he had anticipated conversations about his career, background, and personal interests, he stuttered and “drew a total blank” when it came to saying anything specific in regard to his siblings. “The night was pretty much all downhill from there. This time, though, I’m gonna nail it: I have a younger sister, Sarah, who goes to law school at Duke. I have an older brother, Darren, who’s a pharmaceutical sales rep in Phoenix with a wife and two kids.” At press time, Firks had ruined the date by overeagerly blurting out the information about his siblings in a brisk and heavily rehearsed manner.

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