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Report: Grandpa Just Walks Like That Now

CULVER CITY, CA—According to family sources, the prominent limp displayed by local grandpa Marvin Adelstein on Tuesday is indicative of the fact that he just walks like that now.

Family Moves Elderly Aunt Into Subconscious

RIO RANCHO, NM—After months spent deliberating the best option for their family, members of the Cooper household decided on Monday to move their elderly aunt Joyce Reynolds into their collective subconscious.

Wife Dropping Hints She Ready To Have Second Husband

LA JOLLA, CA—Noticing a sudden change in her demeanor and attentiveness when around young married men, sources confirmed Tuesday that area woman Michelle Roderick was beginning to drop hints that she wanted to try for a second husband.
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Man Read Somewhere They Proved Thing He Just Made Up

BALTIMORE—After being questioned about the thing he had just made up in conversation Tuesday, 37-year-old Paul Rosada explained to those around him that, not only was his fabrication true, but he had recently read somewhere that it had been definitively proven. "You didn't hear about that?" asked Rosada, saying he probably still had the article at home, though he might have thrown it out. "It's probably online. I'll send you a link." Rosada added he was particularly surprised no one knew about the thing he had completely invented because he heard on the radio that they were making a documentary about it.

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Family Moves Elderly Aunt Into Subconscious

RIO RANCHO, NM—After months spent deliberating the best option for their family, members of the Cooper household decided on Monday to move their elderly aunt Joyce Reynolds into their collective subconscious.

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