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Mom In Nightgown Mode

APPLETON, WI—Noting that the changeover occurred “right on schedule” after she had finished the dishes and watched TV for an hour or two, family sources confirmed Monday night that local mom Linda Rampling had officially transitioned into nightgown mode.

Car Rolls Up To Stoplight Blasting Google Maps Directions

HOUSTON—Attracting the attention of adjacent motorists and nearby pedestrians who turned their heads to see where the booming noise was coming from, a 2006 Ford Focus is said to have rolled up to a local stoplight Friday blaring Google Maps directions.

34-Year-Old Asks For Big Piece

MADISON, WI—Directing the server to the large square in the corner, local 34-year-old Matthew Hinke asked for a big piece of cake during a workplace birthday party, sources confirmed Tuesday.
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Man Realizes He Shouldn't Have Told Girl On Phone He Was Taking Dump

GRANBURY, TX–Moments after ending an on-the-toilet phone conversation with a female friend, Bruce Halpern realized Monday that his candor regarding his whereabouts may have been ill-advised. "That was dumb," Halpern said to himself following the call. "I've told lots of guy friends that I was taking a dump while talking to them, but Julie seemed pretty grossed out." Halpern made a mental note to explain the echo effect in future phone calls by saying he is in the garage.

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