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Mom In Nightgown Mode

APPLETON, WI—Noting that the changeover occurred “right on schedule” after she had finished the dishes and watched TV for an hour or two, family sources confirmed Monday night that local mom Linda Rampling had officially transitioned into nightgown mode.

Car Rolls Up To Stoplight Blasting Google Maps Directions

HOUSTON—Attracting the attention of adjacent motorists and nearby pedestrians who turned their heads to see where the booming noise was coming from, a 2006 Ford Focus is said to have rolled up to a local stoplight Friday blaring Google Maps directions.

34-Year-Old Asks For Big Piece

MADISON, WI—Directing the server to the large square in the corner, local 34-year-old Matthew Hinke asked for a big piece of cake during a workplace birthday party, sources confirmed Tuesday.
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Man Sneaks In Mid-Snack Nibble

CEDAR RAPIDS, IA—Local man Gary Crawford reportedly sneaked in a quick mid-snack nibble Thursday, devouring an Oreo cookie to pacify an intense craving the 46-year-old experienced while munching from a box of Cheez-It crackers. "I started feeling hungry between chews and had a hankering for something sweet, so I figured slipping an Oreo in there might just hit the spot," Crawford said. "It definitely helped tide me over until the next handful of Cheez-Its." Crawford confirmed that after finishing the crackers he enjoyed a post-snack pork-out by gnawing on a summer sausage.

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