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Report: Grandpa Just Walks Like That Now

CULVER CITY, CA—According to family sources, the prominent limp displayed by local grandpa Marvin Adelstein on Tuesday is indicative of the fact that he just walks like that now.

Family Moves Elderly Aunt Into Subconscious

RIO RANCHO, NM—After months spent deliberating the best option for their family, members of the Cooper household decided on Monday to move their elderly aunt Joyce Reynolds into their collective subconscious.

Wife Dropping Hints She Ready To Have Second Husband

LA JOLLA, CA—Noticing a sudden change in her demeanor and attentiveness when around young married men, sources confirmed Tuesday that area woman Michelle Roderick was beginning to drop hints that she wanted to try for a second husband.
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Man Still Worried Parents Of Ex-Girlfriend From 7 Years Ago Hate Him

NEWTON, MA—Uneasy to this day over the possibility they consider him a horrible person, local man Will Donnelly is still worried that the parents of his ex-girlfriend from seven years ago hate him, sources confirmed Thursday. “I’m pretty sure Alison’s dad detested me, like I just wasn’t good enough to be dating his daughter,” said Donnelly, in reference to the romantic relationship that amicably came to an end in 2010. “Her mom pretended to be nice to my face, but I could tell she really didn’t like me either. And her brother—man, that dude definitely hated me. I don’t know, it still kind of stresses me out.” Reached for comment, the parents of Donnelly’s ex-girlfriend said they had no strong opinion of him, once they had been reminded of his very existence.

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Family Moves Elderly Aunt Into Subconscious

RIO RANCHO, NM—After months spent deliberating the best option for their family, members of the Cooper household decided on Monday to move their elderly aunt Joyce Reynolds into their collective subconscious.

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