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Report: Grandpa Just Walks Like That Now

CULVER CITY, CA—According to family sources, the prominent limp displayed by local grandpa Marvin Adelstein on Tuesday is indicative of the fact that he just walks like that now.

Family Moves Elderly Aunt Into Subconscious

RIO RANCHO, NM—After months spent deliberating the best option for their family, members of the Cooper household decided on Monday to move their elderly aunt Joyce Reynolds into their collective subconscious.

Wife Dropping Hints She Ready To Have Second Husband

LA JOLLA, CA—Noticing a sudden change in her demeanor and attentiveness when around young married men, sources confirmed Tuesday that area woman Michelle Roderick was beginning to drop hints that she wanted to try for a second husband.
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Man Straight-Up Demands To Know How Many Siblings Coworker Has

HARTFORD, CT—Following months of hesitantly tiptoeing around the matter, sources confirmed that local claims adjuster Jeff Sterling today finally “cut the shit” and demanded to know just how many siblings his coworker David Mobley has. “All right, we’re doing this now—you will tell me,” Sterling said after cornering Mobley in the breakroom and demanding to know the number, approximate age, and gender of Mobley’s as-yet-undefined brothers and sisters, emphasizing that “[he was] through fucking around.” “Just give it to me straight and we’ll be done with this. How many siblings do you have? Tell me. Now. Go.” Mobley responded that he has an older sister, two younger brothers, and an older half-brother from his father’s first marriage.

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Family Moves Elderly Aunt Into Subconscious

RIO RANCHO, NM—After months spent deliberating the best option for their family, members of the Cooper household decided on Monday to move their elderly aunt Joyce Reynolds into their collective subconscious.

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