adBlockCheck

Man Unsure He’s Done Enough Research To Take All The Fun Out Of Making NCAA Bracket

Top Headlines

Sports

How The IOC Plans To Address Doping

In light of its recent decision not to bar Russian athletes from competing in Rio despite their use of performance-enhancing drugs, the International Olympic Committee is working to establish more effective protocols to keep the Games drug-free. Here are some ways the IOC plans to address doping:
End Of Section
  • More News
Up Next

Man Unsure He’s Done Enough Research To Take All The Fun Out Of Making NCAA Bracket

TOLEDO, OH—Noting that he simply ran out of time this year, 32-year-old Collin Buckley admitted to reporters Wednesday that he may not have done enough research to take all the fun out of filling out his NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament bracket. “I actually enjoyed putting some of this together, which makes me wonder if I spent enough time reading conflicting articles about which teams are poised to pull off upsets,” said a visibly disappointed Buckley, adding that while he consulted the RPI rankings and read most of the 34 matchup summaries by ESPN analyst Jay Bilas, he still took some pleasure in making certain picks based purely on his gut feeling or his hatred of certain schools. “I put Texas in the Final Four just because I like [head coach] Shaka Smart, and I have Duke going out in the second round since it’d be fun to see them get dumped so early, so I probably didn’t analyze as much of the data as I should have in order to turn this into a totally and utterly joyless experience.” Buckley added that, at the very least, he invested enough time to guarantee he will not enjoy any of the amazing and inspiring upsets he failed to pick.

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

X Close