adBlockCheck

Entertainment

Stunned Adam Schefter Receives Ominous Tip From Future Self

BRISTOL, CT—Slowly returning to his desk shaken and confused, sources reported Wednesday that ESPN NFL Insider Adam Schefter was stunned to receive an ominous tip from his future self while walking through one of his office building’s hallways.

Infographic: 20 Years Of Netflix

Netflix was founded as an online DVD rental service in 1997 and has since evolved into a subscription-based streaming platform with its own slate of original programming. The Onion looks back at the most important moments in the company’s 20-year history.

Musical The Kind With Number About Putting On A Show

TALLAHASSEE, FL—Noting the increasingly animated choreography and behavior of the characters on stage, sources at the Tallahassee Community Theatre reported Friday that this is apparently the kind of musical with a big number about putting on a show.

What To Watch For In The New Obi-Wan Kenobi Film

Disney has announced they are in the early stages of developing a stand-alone ‘Star Wars’ film focused on the adventures of Jedi master Obi-Wan Kenobi. Here’s what fans can expect to see in the upcoming release.
End Of Section
  • More News

Man Vows Never To Watch Another Sci-Fi Movie With Physicist Friend

DALLAS—After watching Starship Troopers with friend Jeff Oberst Monday, Adam Buck vowed never to watch another science-fiction film with the Rice University physics professor. "First, he spends 20 minutes telling me how bugs could never get that big because of the way they breathe," said Buck, 28. "Then he goes off on how faster-than-light-speed travel isn't physically possible." Buck said the evening was even less enjoyable than the time they watched Back To The Future together.

More from this section

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

Close