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Man Watching World Cup Thought He Would’ve Seen More Bicycle Kicks By Now

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Kevin Durant Wins Gold In Men’s Individual Basketball

RIO DE JANEIRO—Beating out Serbian Nikola Jokic by .87 points in order to claim the all-around title, U.S. forward Kevin Durant won Olympic gold Friday in men’s individual basketball, becoming the first man to win consecutive golds in the competition since Gary Payton at the 1996 and 2000 Games.

Michael Phelps Spots Estranged Father Poseidon In Stands

RIO DE JANEIRO—Immediately recognizing the booming, thunderous voice he hadn’t heard since he was 5 years old as he warmed up ahead of his first heat in the 200-meter individual medley, U.S. Olympic swimmer Michael Phelps reportedly spotted his long-estranged father, Poseidon, God of the Sea, cheering for him Thursday in the stands of the Olympic Aquatics Stadium.
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Man Watching World Cup Thought He Would’ve Seen More Bicycle Kicks By Now

SKOKIE, IL—Confused and disappointed by what he has seen thus far of the 2014 World Cup, local 27-year-old Jared Bowman told reporters Monday that he had expected far more bicycle kicks by this point in the tournament. “I’ve watched a bunch of games, and I don’t think I’ve seen a single player do that thing where they fall backwards and kick the ball over their head and into the goal,” said Bowman, adding that he has seen the feat performed many times on ESPN highlight reels and had just assumed there would be at least three or four bicycle kick attempts during each World Cup match. “The closest they’ve come was when one of the German guys sort of jumped and did a sideways kick at the ball, but that’s about it. Nobody’s even done one of those rainbow kicks. I mean, c’mon, I thought these guys were supposed to be the best soccer players in the world.” At press time, Bowman was wondering why a player who just took a free kick didn’t simply curve the ball around the wall of players and into the top corner of the goal like David Beckham.

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