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Report: Grandpa Just Walks Like That Now

CULVER CITY, CA—According to family sources, the prominent limp displayed by local grandpa Marvin Adelstein on Tuesday is indicative of the fact that he just walks like that now.

Family Moves Elderly Aunt Into Subconscious

RIO RANCHO, NM—After months spent deliberating the best option for their family, members of the Cooper household decided on Monday to move their elderly aunt Joyce Reynolds into their collective subconscious.

Wife Dropping Hints She Ready To Have Second Husband

LA JOLLA, CA—Noticing a sudden change in her demeanor and attentiveness when around young married men, sources confirmed Tuesday that area woman Michelle Roderick was beginning to drop hints that she wanted to try for a second husband.
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Man Who Didn't Get Joke Acts Like He Did

LAS CRUCES, NM—Comprehension of a joke involving Jeffrey Dahmer and Lorena Bobbitt was unsuccessfully feigned Monday, when area resident George Browner, 31, laughed along with tablemates at the Steaks Alive! eatery in Las Cruces. "Whoa! There you go," said the confused Browner, offering an intentionally vague response to what he suspected may have been the joke's punchline. "You got that right." Browner added, "Well, she's sure crazy enough to do it," making his non-comprehension all the more obvious.

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Family Moves Elderly Aunt Into Subconscious

RIO RANCHO, NM—After months spent deliberating the best option for their family, members of the Cooper household decided on Monday to move their elderly aunt Joyce Reynolds into their collective subconscious.

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