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‘Star Wars’ Turns 40

When George Lucas’ Star Wars premiered in 1977, the movie quickly became a phenomenon. On its 40th anniversary, The Onion looks back on the franchise’s defining moments:

Ringo Starr Announces 26th Beatles Album With New Backing Band

‘Moonbeam Sunday’ Slated For Release On June 16

LONDON—Excitedly informing fans that the iconic pop group was back with more original music, Ringo Starr announced Tuesday that on June 16 he would be releasing a 26th Beatles album titled ‘Moonbeam Sunday’ with an all-new backing band.
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Man Who Got 6-Figure Book Deal From His Tumblr Account Has The Fucking Nerve To Appear On National Television

NEW YORK—Infuriating tens of thousands nationwide, 26-year-old microblogger Travis Yates reportedly had the goddamn nerve to appear on Good Morning America Friday just days after signing a $400,000 deal to adapt his popular Tumblr account into a full-length book. "That rich little punk has the fucking stones to show up on my TV and talk about how many hits his stupid blog gets? What a dick," said Colorado resident Jason Stehmeier, 34, who added that it was common decency not to show oneself in public after lucking into something like that. "That guy needs to shut up, write the damn thing, and go away already." Most of the angered viewers admitted they might consider purchasing a copy of the book so long as Yates' smug little prick face was not featured prominently on the back cover.

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